McDonalds Following United Customer Service Plan

Encouraged by United Airlines’ recent PR success, McDonalds has announced a new customer service initiative nicknamed “BFYTW”, for “Because fuck you, that’s why.”

“The customer has never been right in our book,” said McDonald’s CEO Steve Easterbrook. “It’s the core of our business model. We express it in every way imaginable – the abysmal quality of the “food”, the dismal atmosphere, and the way we openly despise our own workforce. But United has shown us the crucial additional step of taking this message to the customer’s face.”

From now on, customers who order food at McDonald’s may or may not be allowed to finish their “meal” in peace. McDonald’s staff reserves the right to march up to the table and remove customers by force at any time.

“If we’re feeling playful we’ll call the local police to give us a hand,” said Easterbrook. “But I like the idea of giving our employees a rewarding physical outlet for their frustrations with life as a McDonald’s employee.”

A new line of commercials is currently in preparation in which Ronald McDonald will get real and cut a bitch.

“I think this is what Americans want,” said Easterbrook.