“There’s Nothing Sadder Than a Broken Ornament,” Says Woman With No Perspective

Broken ornament

Kaylee Whitehead philosophically pondered the glittering, fragile shards of a shattered Christmas tree ornament, ruefully commenting on how this is the saddest thing she’s seen all year.

“The ornament just encapsulates so much about the holiday, about optimism and the Christmas spirit,” she said with a world-weary chuckle. “My family has treasured this orb since I bought it at Hallmark in 2018, so it’s kind of a family heirloom as well,” she added, choking back a sob.

Kaylee made sure to document the sad, accidental demise of the delicate sphere in a thoughtful Facebook post, in which she shared her grief for the mishap and all it represents, and asked for the community to all come together to rise above the tragedy. At press time, the post had twenty three likes and at least three comments with the “prayer hands” emoji.

“Your thoughts and prayers are SO HEARTWARMING,” she wrote in her post. “I know that I’m not alone in experiencing loss this holiday season, and my own thoughts go out to everyone whose home has been hit by similar events.”

The ornament was apparently knocked from the tree by Captain Huffle, the family Airdale, during an overly enthusiastic romp with the family toddler, Brad.

“Captain Huffle didn’t mean to do it, obviously, but the whole symmetry of the tree’s decorations was thrown out of whack. And who knows what further havoc he might wreak,” sighed Kaylee. “I think we might just have to shoot the fucker.”

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Author: Gene Laughton

Dealer of snark, writer of truths, drinker of drinks.