On Friday the White House announced that the President approved a classified napkin which Congressman Devin Nunes insists represents “entire minutes” of deep investigation.
“This document really says it all,” said Nunes, who insisted that President Trump only approved the final version and did not, for example, write it for Nunes and then tell the Congressman to pretend the document was an independent report. “Anyone who has doubts about the integrity of Mueller and the Fake News Russia Investigation will find their suspicions confirmed by this report.”
Republicans hailed the document as a serious blow to the credibility of Mueller, the FBI, and anyone in the Justice Department who refuses to recite the special Trump Loyalty Oath in the morning during the newly mandated Trump Loyalty Minute.
“I don’t see how the Mueller investigation can recover from this incredibly damaging report,” said Fox and Friends host Brian Kilmeade, one of the most powerful advisors in the Cabinet.
The Wall Street Journal also called the napkin “concerning.” The fake news failing New York Times and Bezos propaganda rag Washington Post deferred from this assessment, saying the napkin had some “troubling logical holes.”
“We’re confident now that we can move on, and perhaps fire some investigators who ought not be investigating the President,” said Sarah Huckabee Sanders. “It’s about time that the correct truth came out.”
